he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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