I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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