I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The air was thick with penises
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i out mim tonsoeep
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