i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
