Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it hurts more in the daytime
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
