hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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