hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You're a waste of cheezeits
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Randomize
