I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
