You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Operation Purity has been aborted
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
