he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
