dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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