She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
