I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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