do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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