tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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