but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
