singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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