I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
