i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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