Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
