Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
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he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
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What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Enjoy the penises
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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