Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
