Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize