Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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