I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
