My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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