thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
