i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Randomize
