I think i peed on brittanys purse
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Randomize