Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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