Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
