Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
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