no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
