just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
