There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
