I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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