Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize