you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
