who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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