fuck your aforementioned shoe
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
