What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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