youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
