Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
