big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
