I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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