MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
