By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
