if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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