I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
