It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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