Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
