How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
