ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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