I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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