this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
