Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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