Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
