if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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