I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
being pregnant is like rehab
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
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