like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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