he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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