I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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