Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
