Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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